"....it's a mental game"

It's hard for me to talk about riding without feeling like a phony. When I refer to my rides, I am not talking about 100km training treks in the latest spandex technology. No, I am talking about trying to get through the hour plus ride through the adjoining trails and roads around my home on the west side of Saint John on an old steel framed steed that's in the same shape as me. Most evenings you can find me struggling to get up the hill that leads out of my neighbourhood, or panting as I test my speed on a straight stretch.  

In the short few months that I have been riding, I've made a few astute observations, but for me one point stands head and shoulders above the rest:

Cycling is a mental game.

I'm not sure if this is a truth for all cyclists, or if it's something that is just unique to my experiences, but either way I find myself having mental battles with myself everytime I ride. Oddly, I can go further and faster when riding with friends, than I can when I am alone on the exact same roads on the exact same bicycle. It's ironic too, since the majority of cycling I do is by myself. Sure, sometimes a friend will meet me for a ride, or my wife will cave in to my begging and join me, but mostly this has been a solo venture.

At first I chalked my struggles up to years of cob-webs that had built up around my love-handles like built in panniers. I figured that this was normal and that soon I would get so addicted that I wouldn't even notice the struggles. I may have continued with this train of thought if it hadn't been for two rides I took with my friend Chris Fudge.

Chris and I at Castillia Marsh, Grand Manan

The first was a three day trek to Grand Manan Island that I will document in a later post. The other was an afternoon ride from my house on the west side to Chris' place in Hampton. It was the second ride that really shed a lot of light on my cycling psyche.

...It was easy!

This baffled me. Sure I was sweaty, and sure I felt tired by the end of the day, but there was not one moment where I thought "I can't do this". This is a near 50km ride with some hilly terrain to navigate. How could I make such a trip with ease while a 5k ride uptown could be filled with several moments of self doubt and thoughts of calling my wife to pick me up.

Tired...but I made it!

The answer is simple. I was not alone. It's with embarrassment that I admit that I am far more capable physically when I have company than I am when I am cycling by myself. This lack of self-motivation is something that alarms me and has weighed heavy on my mind during recent rides. The good part of realizing it is that I am pushing myself harder now because I know I am capable of more.

It turns out that the toughest barrier I face isn't a giant hill, bad weather or even another rider. No, the toughest opponent in this race, is myself.

I intend to win.